Please Somebody Pick Me!

Since Saturday, I have been struggling with being alone. I mean there are moments where panic overwhelms me. The horrible thoughts of you are alone, and you are not wanted would overtake me. At these moments, I'm so lost, and hurting. It's like I can't even breathe. Heaven has been silent until this afternoon. I asked the Lord,"What is wrong with me?" "This isn't what I dreamed my life would be like." "Why am I so needy?" "I'm a taker, aren't I?"

I waited for the Lord's response to my questions. This was His answer...memories of moments where someone picked me. My mind went immediately to when I met my husband. Before we ever said a word to one another, he decided after seeing me for the first time that I was the "one". He picked me! Next memory, I was walking into my dorm room with a broken heart. I was abandon by family for the last time. My roommate knowing what was going on at that time. Sweetly said to me, "I'll be your family." She picked me! I was later adopted into her family. She's my sister now! The family picked me!

The next memory was about six months ago. I was talking on the phone to a lady that did not know me well, She told me that day that though she did not know me, and had not at the time met me. That God had placed a Love in heart for me. She picked me!

I sat there weeping and thinking, "Wow! I SURE AM LOVED AND WANTED!!!!!" Jesus reminded me then of the verse in John that says, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you...." Thank you Jesus for picking me!
Dear Reader, Jesus has picked you too! Remember you are worth it!

There is an Option C

During these last six months, Jesus has been changing my thought processes. All my life and in every situation I have only seen Option A or Option B. Jesus has been teaching me there is an Option C.  In this journey of healing, there has been a lot of "stretching" moments for me. Moments were I had to go beyond my comfort zone, and face my fears. I personally tend to see the worst possible outcome before I make a move to "stretch". Does anyone know what I am talking about? Can you relate?


For several months now I've been fighting with the fear of losing a friend. The thoughts of being too needy. Requiring too much time. I felt like I was smothering this precious friend of mine, so I thought any day now she would be gone too. My heart just agonized over this. What was I to do?


I saw two options. Option A, Isolation. I would just walk away, and let no one else get that close again. Then there is Option B, Suffocation. Totally, sabotage our friendship with selfishness, and expectations. Then Jesus showed that neither Options A or B is what He has for me. There is an Option C!


Option C is as simple as it sounds is following Jesus! That's it! For me, that means asking Him when I should call people. When I should send a text message or an email. It's asking Him about every relationship in my life, and following His leading. He is the Good Shepherd after all. He spoke a wonderful truth to my heart today...He said, "Have hope".  There is hope! Will I do this perfectly? No, I won't, but I sure what to try. How about you? Has Jesus taught you about Option C- Following Jesus? Would love to hear your comments. Remember you are worth it!

Being Carried to Jesus

Recently, I was reading in Matthew the account of the man sick of the palsy. He was so sick...he could not get himself to Jesus. He had four friends that did whatever it took to get him to Jesus. They carried him in his bed, and got him to Jesus. When Jesus saw the man...He healed him. The part that interested me the most was that Jesus saw the four friend's faith, not the man's faith. Maybe the man had no faith.

Six months ago, I was the one who had no faith. I could barely get out of bed. I had lost all hope. I could not get myself to Jesus. In April, I was so low...I no longer desired even to live. It was a Sunday morning. My husband had left for bus route with our oldest son. I managed to get myself out of bed, and I wanted to end my pain that very morning. I took our gun and held it to my head. As I had my finger on the trigger, I remembered my other son was still asleep in his crib. I began to weep uncontrollably... saying "God help me". A couple hours later, I called a friend, who insisted on a four way conference call.  She said to me, "Let me have faith for you." When I had zero faith, my friends carried me to Jesus that day, and the healing began.

How about you reader? Has someone carried you to Jesus?  Remember you are worth it!