After breakfast I finally went to bed! Yes, you read that right. hahaha! I woke up to a text message. The message was from my biological father. He was wishing me a happy birthday. Which he hadn't done since I was a kid.
I immediately began to sob in tears. I tried to do it quietly so I wouldn't wake up my roommate. I laid there asking the Lord, "Why?" "Why today of all days?" "My heart can't handle this today." "Lord, what do You want me to do with this?" He replied to me, "Love him." With even more tears I said, "How can I love someone who left me thirty years ago?" "God, his leaving has brought me so much pain." Again He said, "Love him for Me."
I then got up from the bed and went into the living room area. I handed my phone to Kara to show her the text. She looked at it. I sat on the floor, and continued my conversation with the Lord. The Lord brought to mind the verse...
Malachi 4:6a...
"And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers,"
The Lord then told me to CALL my biological father! I sat there reeling. I immediately told the Lord that if I did that I would be betraying my adopted my family. The Lord sweetly said," You are adding not taking away." " Remember the prayer you would pray when you were six....that your daddy would come home...I am answering your prayer today." I then said to the Lord, "What do I even say?" Jesus replied, "Hi, would be nice." hahaha! Jesus' words brought me great comfort, but I thought I would get out of calling my biological father my phone was dying and I couldn't find my charger. Then Kara offered her phone for me to use.
I took her phone and called him. He answered and I said, "Hi, this is Erica." He immediately began to ask for my forgiveness for leaving me thirty years ago. He told me he was sorry for not being there to protect me from all that I suffered as a child. He told me not a day went by that he didn't think about me. I could not believe it! Was this for real? I then told him that I forgive him. That is so huge for me!!!! He wanted to know about my husband and my sons. We have become friends on facebook. He is pursuing me. Waiting for me to respond.
I don't know what our relationship will look like. I look at him as a friend that I have missed for a long time. Please pray for me that I would love him like Jesus told me to. Getting him back in my life was the best present ever.
