Since Saturday, I have been struggling with being alone. I mean there are moments where panic overwhelms me. The horrible thoughts of you are alone, and you are not wanted would overtake me. At these moments, I'm so lost, and hurting. It's like I can't even breathe. Heaven has been silent until this afternoon. I asked the Lord,"What is wrong with me?" "This isn't what I dreamed my life would be like." "Why am I so needy?" "I'm a taker, aren't I?"
I waited for the Lord's response to my questions. This was His answer...memories of moments where someone picked me. My mind went immediately to when I met my husband. Before we ever said a word to one another, he decided after seeing me for the first time that I was the "one". He picked me! Next memory, I was walking into my dorm room with a broken heart. I was abandon by family for the last time. My roommate knowing what was going on at that time. Sweetly said to me, "I'll be your family." She picked me! I was later adopted into her family. She's my sister now! The family picked me!
The next memory was about six months ago. I was talking on the phone to a lady that did not know me well, She told me that day that though she did not know me, and had not at the time met me. That God had placed a Love in heart for me. She picked me!
I sat there weeping and thinking, "Wow! I SURE AM LOVED AND WANTED!!!!!" Jesus reminded me then of the verse in John that says, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you...." Thank you Jesus for picking me!
Dear Reader, Jesus has picked you too! Remember you are worth it!
4 comments:
Oh sweetness! You are popular and chosen and redeemed! What lovely words you penned. Thank you for being so brave and sharing your heart here.
I am His Beloved,
Thank you so much for your kind words. Your words always breathe life to me:)
I don't think the Lord thinks of terms of "need" or "taker." So I think those thoughts are from darkness.
I think the Lord says, "Lean hard." Lean, on Him, and on each other.
And then, separate from that He says, "Walk in your gifts." As we walk fully in the gifts He has given us, they will be multiplied. And no doubt He will use them to minister to others. Which makes us Givers. Doesn't the Truth have a beautiful ring to it?
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for your comment. Great thoughts. It is something to think about.
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